Invisible Strength: The Load No One Sees
Have you ever felt like your brain was a browser with 47 tabs open, and one of them was playing music, but you couldn’t figure out which one? Welcome to the world of the invisible load. If you haven’t heard this term before, let me catch you up. The invisible load refers to the unseen mental and emotional effort it takes to juggle responsibilities, tasks, and expectations—especially in areas like work, family, and relationships. Spoiler alert: this load often falls disproportionately on women.
Let me take you on a quick trip into my life to show you what this looks like in action. I’m the founder of 1988, a business owner, a wife, a mother to three kids (8-year-old twins and a 7-year-old), and a daughter. Oh, and let’s not forget: I’m also part of the Gen X sandwich generation, caring for my 85-year-old mother, who lives with us. Picture it: a bustling house of six, a calendar that looks like it belongs to a Fortune 500 CEO, and an endless to-do list that’s frankly laughable. The invisible load isn’t just a concept for me; it’s my reality
A Day in the Life of Chaos
Mornings at my house are… colorful. Picture me, coffee in hand, trying to channel some influencer’s serene vibe while assembling three lunchboxes. Spoiler: it’s not working. Between filling water bottles, urging everyone to finish breakfast, brushing their teeth, and making beds, I’m a one-woman command center. And that’s just the first hour.
By mid-morning, I’m back to folding laundry. Next thing I know, I’m washing dishes, and the laundry is sitting there, silently judging me. Fast forward to school pickup, snacks, meltdowns, and homework, followed by a blur of after-school activities: karate, soccer, swimming, piano lessons. Did I mention my mom? She needs reminders to take her meds, eat, and bathe… and occasionally, I’m on a scavenger hunt for food she’s stashed around the house.
It’s a tornado of responsibilities that leaves me wondering, "How did we get here?" And yet, this is normal. Or so I’ve convinced myself.
When Life Throws Curveballs
This past year has been particularly tough. Within 12 months, a string of tragic events unfolded. Then, in June, I lost my corporate job—a role that had defined me for so long. Losing it was like losing a piece of myself. My job had been my anchor, my proof that I was doing something right. Suddenly, I was adrift, grappling with rejection after rejection as I searched for something new.
But here’s the thing: I didn’t have the luxury to process those emotions. There were still lunches to pack, meltdowns to manage, and my family’s needs to prioritize. So, I did what so many women do. I put on a brave face, soldiered on, and buried my feelings. The invisible load doesn’t pause, even when your world feels like it’s crumbling.
The Perfect Storm of Perfectionism
I’ll be honest: part of this burden is self-inflicted. Growing up, I internalized the idea that I needed to be perfect. I had to excel at work, keep my house spotless, and always look like I had it together. Letting go of that mindset feels impossible some days. But I’m trying. Slowly, I’m learning to accept that "perfect" is a myth and that it’s okay to ask for help.
Why Sharing Matters
I’m not telling you all of this for sympathy. I’m sharing it because I know I’m not alone. The invisible load is an unspoken reality for so many women. And it’s time we spoke up.
So here’s my message: share your story. Talk about the struggles and the triumphs, the tiny wins and the ingenious workarounds. Let’s lift each other up. Let’s raise our sons and daughters to understand that the load isn’t just a woman’s responsibility—it’s a shared one.
And most importantly, let’s remind each other that it’s okay to not have it all together. Some days, you’ve got this. Other days, you don’t. Both are okay.
Together, we can redefine what it means to carry the load. Not as solitary warriors, but as a community. Because when we collaborate, when we share, when we lean on each other—that’s where we find strength. And maybe, just maybe, a little peace.